It’s reckoning day.
I’ve recently unloaded a heap of bullshit beliefs about who I thought I was and what pain I felt I had to hold on to in order to keep myself strong and moving forward. Did I mention they were total bullshit? Ok… just in case you didn’t catch the first time that I got rid of a bunch of absolute bullshit beliefs – or even the second time – I think maybe it requires another reminder.
Yeah, they’re gone. Vanished. Buh-bye! Adios! Toodles!
So, here I am with a newly-declared commitment to moving forward and never again letting that BS hinder my progress. And, guess what? I’m still feeling stuck. Not AS stuck, but still… STUCK!
Do you know why?
Because I broke some serious shizzle down that has been a part of me for, I dunno… 40 years? And, I haven’t yet replaced it with a new pattern. Being in pain is a pattern. Remaining stuck? YUP! It’s a PATTERN. I bet if you really think about it, you can name a couple pretty fun (not really so much) patterns of your own.
Once you break down what is holding you back, you’re kind of hanging out in pattern-less nether space, and it actually feels like you didn’t break any pattern and have really made no progress. But this badass hasn’t done all that work for naught, and neither have you, so…
Guess what time it is now? Time to WRITE A NEW ONE.
First, it’s important that we write out the old pattern. What was it? What was the emotion behind it? Wanna hear a crazy one I just threw out the minivan window? (BTW, it was totally biodegradable, for all my earth-friendly peeps who may be wondering.)
The pattern was: “If I let go of scarcity and always needing to be and do more, I let go of what drives me to be outfuckingstanding – OFS. And then I won’t be driven and will just be… (GASP) … normal.”
That’s TOTAL BS!
Do you see the patterns we create for ourselves? In my case, in order to not blend into the vanilla wall of absolutely average, I had to hold on to such a debilitating story. My arms were getting pretty fatigued, so it was way past time to toss the load.
So, what’s the new pattern?
I’m OFS because it’s WHO I AM. Period. Not because of the feeling that I’m not (in any way) enough. See how that works? Every negative pattern has an opposite, positive pattern.
What’s yours? What do you see in the old pattern that you can flip to create a new one… a new way of thinking… a new way of doing… a new way of BEING?
Do you have a new pattern yet? If you don’t have one, GET ONE!